i realised i've been fighting all the while.

i fight with the zzz monster every morning.
i fight with loneliness on every long bus and long train rides.
i fight with zzz monster while at work.
i fight with fatigue monster while doing calls.
i fight with loneliness again on my way home.
and sometimes, no, most of the times, i fight with loneliness, again, goin gym.
i fight with the stress monster when i don't understand the soci shite and memorising nageb's notes.
i fight with my mom the huge monster when she irritates me askin me to get her the Diva fashion jewellery.
i fight with my siblings for the possession of certain property in the family.
i fight with my brother for fun.

on top of everything, i fight with myself to earn more money.

what's wrong with me balls. i still cant get over lonely bus rides. i stone and cry. what the hell.
sometimes i think im mad. mad to the extent of pushing myself to the end of the cliff.


i hope i die early. like now.